The Every Fairy

Slutterbell: The Every Fairy

A fairy good podcast.

Sandy Whorehol

Tag: podcast

TSAF – 06 – What Pooped in My Yard?

TSAF – 06 – What Pooped in My Yard?

“What pooped in my yard?” is a question you may one day find yourself asking. 

💩💩💩🐶🐱🐨

And when that day comes… I… like… really hope you’ll send me pictures.

For episode six, we interviewed Rivka, a lady human and veterinary technician, but we mostly just talked about poop. A lot. Because WHY NOT?

Things eventually got a little crazy when The Riv showed me her stethoscope, and it seems like, well…

lesbian fairies

I think she was flirting with me. And I may have flirted with her the entire night. I can’t be sure tho, because I have no idea how to do that.

But we ended up… ummm, see for yourself:

Either way, I regret nothing.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • poop
  • types of poop
  • shapes of poop
  • poop sizes
  • poop colors
  • scooting
  • scatting
  • magical animals
  • turtles (aka timelords)
  • anal glands
  • dogs
  • cats
  • butt problems
  • fat unicorns
  • rhinos
  • evolution

…and for our segment, we play “What Pooped That?!

Oh! I almost forgot. If you came for the poop pictures, I’ve got you covered.

Due to our discussion regarding poop images, I promised everyone I would add said photos to the site. Therefore, here are the poop photos we describe during our segment (in order of appearance).

WARNING

If you keep scrolling, you’re going to see poop.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

It is very unpleasant poop.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

You have been warned.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Ok. Here we go.

💩💩💩💩

💩 What Pooped That?! 💩

#1.) dark and shiny, but smooth, and looks like a braid.

himalayan bear poop

(^ Bear poop.)

#2.) ew, ugh, ick, fur turds

cat hairball pictures

(^ Cat hairball from cat. really big cat.)

#3.) THE WARNING POO – sautéed chicken with raspberry sauce

WARNING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

blood in stool dog poop jelly

(^ Golden retriever poo.)

#4.) powdered donuts

powdered donuts

(^ dog fed raw diet with too much calcium.)

#5.) spaghetti poop

dog poop spaghetti

(^ dog poop with roundworms)

#6.) rice poo

dog poop rice

(^ dog poop with “rice-like tapeworm segments.)

#7.) green pea soup with snakeskin stew

tapeworms diarrhea

(^ lamb diarrhea with tapeworms.)

#8.) cute lil poo cubes

wombats poop cubes

(^ that’s wombat poop. cuz wombats poop cubes. ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ ▪♨▪♨▪♨▪♨ ♥‿♥ )

*This episode also had a shitload of reddit references. You welco.
TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

Life is funny sometimes.

The whole point of this podcast was for us to interview humans and learn more about them. We already know that humans are obsessed with pictures of themselves, so we decided to interview a local photographer, and he ended up being a freakin’ vampire.

Of course, he can’t show up in pictures, so I used an infrared heat thingy to get a shot of him… AND CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO EAT THE CHUPACABRA

 

interview with a vampire bat
But she was not having it.

Not only is he a vampire, but he’s also a green vampire (which apparently means he turns green in the sun and is highly attracted to green-skinned women).

green fairies
What Buford probably sees when he looks at us.

Not only is he a green vampire, but he can also turn into a bat. A bat that flies around the room whenever tf he feels like it.

interview with a vampire bat
Bat Roy pic I took with a night vision cam while he wasn’t looking.

We feared for our lives. And we had to trick him and lock him out of the room to save our own lovely necks, so…

Basically, nothing got accomplished.

In this episode we kind of discussed:

  • vampires
  • photographers
  • the history of photography
  • vampire photographers
  • green vampires
  • green women
  • necks
  • lovely long necks
  • blood
  • Ireland going from blue to green
  • pizza delivery
  • vampire food
  • other vampire shit
  • mostly just vampires and bats I guess
  • actually…
  • I really just don’t know what the fuck we talked about tbh

But anyway…. big thanks to the infamous Roy Inman, champion blood sucker, official bat boy, and acclaimed photographer for Union Station, KCMO.

TSAF – ep04 – WTF, Children. WTAF.

TSAF – ep04 – WTF, Children. WTAF.

I’ve been noticing that the mini-humans are sometimes smarter than the big ones (well, they make more sense, anyway) so we interviewed two of them in an attempt to gain a better understanding of who humans truly are, why they do the things they do, and what they’re teaching their children.

wtf children, humans are weird

Unfortunately, we walked away feeling more confused than we did when we arrived. I’m not sure what it is exactly that we learned during the whole ordeal, but I do know this:

A.) kids do not like Donald Trump

2.) the younger they are, the more they hate him

D.) kids really do say the darnedest things – especially when they’re talking to fairies, and especially when they’re talking to S.B. and me, and especially when their names are Platform 9 & 3/Alex and O’Charlie.

wtf children, humans are weird

In this episode, the four of us discuss:

  • fractions
  • Harry Potter
  • hashtag + pound = McDonald’s breakfast
  • Donald Trump’s intelligence
  • intelligence in general
  • what the child things would do if they were POTUS
  • bringing Obamacare back (at the request of the 9 year old)
  • fox sounds
  • bat sounds
  • legendary Pokémon who screech
  • puberty
  • where your anus is
  • leprechauns
  • dry shampoo
  • having a bad day
  • playing adult games
  • Camelot
  • explosive diarrhea
  • Xavier’s men
  • what parents say to their kids the most
  • kids saying “bad words”
  • Vines
  • knock-knock jokes
  • goat sex

…and for our segment, we play “What’s on My Butt?”

 

TSAF – ep03 – My Roommate’s a Werewolf: A Lifetime Original Movie

TSAF – ep03 – My Roommate’s a Werewolf: A Lifetime Original Movie

We finally get to meet Trevor the Werewolf in person.

werewolf fairy

As in while he’s an actual person and not in beast mode.

werewolf dog cyclops

His mother, Sylvia, also joins us, we play a game called Sleep in a Bucket, and we have now heard things that can never be unheard.

pikachu fairy

In this episode, the four of us discuss:

  • werewolves
  • suffering for fashion
  • pooping glitter
  • pooping rainbows
  • the disease you can get that makes technology fall apart
  • ingrown hairs
  • narco-magicians
  • werewolf demigorgon crossover psychics
  • demigorgy daddies
  • genealogy
  • giant, vibrating cell phones
  • Virginia Wides
  • being sticky
  • Bill Cosby
  • off pudding
  • child corn
  • cock goblins or something
  • Chuck Nasty McWolfsman
  • goat sex

…and for our segment, we play Sleep in a Bucket.

pikachu werewolf

Relevant Instagram Shenanigans:

TSAF – ep02 – Hillary Skank and LeVar Burton and the Rainbow and the Butterfly

TSAF – ep02 – Hillary Skank and LeVar Burton and the Rainbow and the Butterfly

I found a fairy who’s been in the human world for 10 years now, and her name is Hillary Skank.

She stopped by “the studio” (my bedroom) to be our very first in-house guest and share her wisdom with us.

That wisdom, as it turns out, is limited entirely to cats and Star Trek: The Next Generation.

And how tf do you pass on an interview with that?

Therefore, in this episode, we did discuss the following subjects, which are listed in a sort-of-halfway-non-particular order:

  • loving cats
  • hating cats
  • cats are dicks
  • no they’re not
  • yes they are
  • and btw yes they are
  • humans worshipping false gods (cats)
  • trans species/species fluidity
  • being eaten by your pets when you die
  • how clean cat/dog mouths actually are
  • cats putting their asses in your face
  • “pungent scent glands”
  • my (Sandy’s) fairy sweat
  • my good-smelling shoulder
  • me becoming a perfume
  • sweat studies and collections
  • Star Trek TNG (also the Enterprise, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine)
  • comparing and assigning each of the characters from Star Trek TNG to specific cat breeds
  • Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Commander William Riker, Data the Robot Android (but not like the phone), Counselor Deanna Troi, Lieutenant Worf, Dr. Beverly Crusher, Wesley Crusher, Geordi LaForge, and Tasha Yar
  • sphynx cats,Siamese cats, Himalayan cats, calico cats, Maine coon cats, Cornish rex cats, orange tabby cats, cat roadkill, and Russian blue cats
  • grey vs blue
  • Shower Thoughts: cats edition
  • thanks be to reddit
  • cats and grammar correction
  • what cats do when you’re gone
  • Dogs vs cats
  • are Catholics actually addicted to cats
  • cat birth control
  • bird/dinosaur hunters
  • vibrating cats
  • Beethoven (both of them)
  • butterfly wing repair
  • Reading Rainbow
  • goat sex

Will Hillary Skank choose goat sex over having a bad reputation? Find out on episode 02 of There’s Something About Fairy. {Read this again in the voice of that one dude who does announcer and/or movie trailer voices [if you weren’t already (Also, why weren’t you??)].}

In the meantime, we’ve added some Star Trek TNG character/cat comparison photos to our website for your viewing pleasure. Engage.

And one more for the road:

TSAF – ep000: Teaser Teaser Goat Pleaser

TSAF – ep000: Teaser Teaser Goat Pleaser

Let’s get one thing straight.

This is a fairy good podcast.

YOU are not allowed to bounce.

You WILL listen to this podcast.

And you will LOVE it.

Because you can’t resist US.

How could you say no to a couple of bad bitches like @slutterbelltheeveryfairy and @sandywhor3hol?

If the above overtly obvious subliminal message attempts didn’t catch you, scroll back up to the top and listen to the teaser episode again to get you in the mood.

TSAF – ep01 – Bark Twice for Goat Sex

TSAF – ep01 – Bark Twice for Goat Sex

Yeah, you read that title right.

And the barking for goat sex happens in this episode. Literally.

AND… it was 100% unplanned.

This was the first time Slutterbell and I did a full-length recording and had an actual guest [sort of]. Listen, we didn’t have our segments and guests and stuff all ironed out yet, so it’s a little lacking in that department… but it’s still pretty kick ass, and it sets up the rest of the season.

Among other things, we discuss:

  • Trevor. Again.
  • goat sex (obvi)
  • snow and saltiness
  • Kansas City
  • the Midwest
  • the East Coast
  • Pennsylvania (sorry)
  • Native American history
  • colonial dicks
  • deadly blankets
  • cooking your own head
  • peeing in your own shoe
  • firehoses
  • Halloween
  • fairies in Annie’s Arbor
  • me possibly launching a fragrance based on my own naturally-amazing scent
  • calling my friend Molly, who doesn’t fucking answer
  • calling my friend Amanda, who has the decency to pick up the damn phone
  • asking Amanda the Golden Question
  • being proud of Amanda’s answer
  • tattoos
  • opossums
  • goat sex

The end.

Get the hell outta here.

TSAF – ep00 – Preview: Frankenshorts

TSAF – ep00 – Preview: Frankenshorts

Sup, humans?!

Welcome to our very first episode of our very first podcast. Ever.

I’m Sandy Whorehol...

…aka Sandy: the Misfit Fairy, and that’s my best friend, Slutterbell:

…aka Slutterbell: the Every Fairy. We have a lot of crazy adventures with our friend Marvin Stallone, who you’ll also encounter from time to time:

We’re totes excited you’re here – but first, please note:

This is not cosplay. We are real fairies from Fairyland who came here to figure out wtf is up with you humans. Though we still have much to learn, we’re pretty sure we can teach you a thing or twenty about yourselves along the way.

The Preview Episode of our podcast is a teensy bit different than what you’re going to hear moving forward; our first few tries weren’t perfect, so I stitched chunks of them together and added narration over cheesy background music – like a 1980s/90s TV show. You welco.

Some of the topics we discuss in “Frankenshorts” are:

  • bullying
  • Bluetooth
  • vikings
  • goats
  • what we do and do not want to do with goats
  • fish on your feet
  • a tank full of humans
  • how we got our names
  • why we study humans
  • being a dick
  • Andy Warhol (it’s ‘hole’ as in ‘holes’)
  • dating the President
  • science being real
  • phoning and flying
  • lobster murder
  • Minecraft
  • centaurs (UGH… amirite)
  • sour blood
  • the horrors of mantis sex

We also talk a lot about my roommate, Trevor the Werewolf, so here’s a picture of him, too:

Aaaand I promised you videos of the Trump being rude to and awkward around children, so…

Here he is repeatedly insulting their parents with the same voice he uses to give (backhanded) compliments:

And here he is terrifying a baby he has no idea how to hold:

And finally, in case you missed it above, the TSAF Preview Episode: Frankenshorts is right down there.

Wow. Very story. Much weird. So fairy.

Podcast Instagram

Sandy’s Instagram

Slutterbell’s Instagram