The Every Fairy

Slutterbell: The Every Fairy

A fairy good podcast.

Sandy Whorehol

Tag: kansas city

TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

Life is funny sometimes.

The whole point of this podcast was for us to interview humans and learn more about them. We already know that humans are obsessed with pictures of themselves, so we decided to interview a local photographer, and he ended up being a freakin’ vampire.

Of course, he can’t show up in pictures, so I used an infrared heat thingy to get a shot of him… AND CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO EAT THE CHUPACABRA

 

interview with a vampire bat
But she was not having it.

Not only is he a vampire, but he’s also a green vampire (which apparently means he turns green in the sun and is highly attracted to green-skinned women).

green fairies
What Buford probably sees when he looks at us.

Not only is he a green vampire, but he can also turn into a bat. A bat that flies around the room whenever tf he feels like it.

interview with a vampire bat
Bat Roy pic I took with a night vision cam while he wasn’t looking.

We feared for our lives. And we had to trick him and lock him out of the room to save our own lovely necks, so…

Basically, nothing got accomplished.

In this episode we kind of discussed:

  • vampires
  • photographers
  • the history of photography
  • vampire photographers
  • green vampires
  • green women
  • necks
  • lovely long necks
  • blood
  • Ireland going from blue to green
  • pizza delivery
  • vampire food
  • other vampire shit
  • mostly just vampires and bats I guess
  • actually…
  • I really just don’t know what the fuck we talked about tbh

But anyway…. big thanks to the infamous Roy Inman, champion blood sucker, official bat boy, and acclaimed photographer for Union Station, KCMO.

TSAF – ep01 – Bark Twice for Goat Sex

TSAF – ep01 – Bark Twice for Goat Sex

Yeah, you read that title right.

And the barking for goat sex happens in this episode. Literally.

AND… it was 100% unplanned.

This was the first time Slutterbell and I did a full-length recording and had an actual guest [sort of]. Listen, we didn’t have our segments and guests and stuff all ironed out yet, so it’s a little lacking in that department… but it’s still pretty kick ass, and it sets up the rest of the season.

Among other things, we discuss:

  • Trevor. Again.
  • goat sex (obvi)
  • snow and saltiness
  • Kansas City
  • the Midwest
  • the East Coast
  • Pennsylvania (sorry)
  • Native American history
  • colonial dicks
  • deadly blankets
  • cooking your own head
  • peeing in your own shoe
  • firehoses
  • Halloween
  • fairies in Annie’s Arbor
  • me possibly launching a fragrance based on my own naturally-amazing scent
  • calling my friend Molly, who doesn’t fucking answer
  • calling my friend Amanda, who has the decency to pick up the damn phone
  • asking Amanda the Golden Question
  • being proud of Amanda’s answer
  • tattoos
  • opossums
  • goat sex

The end.

Get the hell outta here.

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