The Every Fairy

Slutterbell: The Every Fairy

A fairy good podcast.

Sandy Whorehol

Tag: comedy

TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

TSAF – ep05 – Interview with a Vampire Bat

Life is funny sometimes.

The whole point of this podcast was for us to interview humans and learn more about them. We already know that humans are obsessed with pictures of themselves, so we decided to interview a local photographer, and he ended up being a freakin’ vampire.

Of course, he can’t show up in pictures, so I used an infrared heat thingy to get a shot of him… AND CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO EAT THE CHUPACABRA

 

interview with a vampire bat
But she was not having it.

Not only is he a vampire, but he’s also a green vampire (which apparently means he turns green in the sun and is highly attracted to green-skinned women).

green fairies
What Buford probably sees when he looks at us.

Not only is he a green vampire, but he can also turn into a bat. A bat that flies around the room whenever tf he feels like it.

interview with a vampire bat
Bat Roy pic I took with a night vision cam while he wasn’t looking.

We feared for our lives. And we had to trick him and lock him out of the room to save our own lovely necks, so…

Basically, nothing got accomplished.

In this episode we kind of discussed:

  • vampires
  • photographers
  • the history of photography
  • vampire photographers
  • green vampires
  • green women
  • necks
  • lovely long necks
  • blood
  • Ireland going from blue to green
  • pizza delivery
  • vampire food
  • other vampire shit
  • mostly just vampires and bats I guess
  • actually…
  • I really just don’t know what the fuck we talked about tbh

But anyway…. big thanks to the infamous Roy Inman, champion blood sucker, official bat boy, and acclaimed photographer for Union Station, KCMO.

TSAF – ep04 – WTF, Children. WTAF.

TSAF – ep04 – WTF, Children. WTAF.

I’ve been noticing that the mini-humans are sometimes smarter than the big ones (well, they make more sense, anyway) so we interviewed two of them in an attempt to gain a better understanding of who humans truly are, why they do the things they do, and what they’re teaching their children.

wtf children, humans are weird

Unfortunately, we walked away feeling more confused than we did when we arrived. I’m not sure what it is exactly that we learned during the whole ordeal, but I do know this:

A.) kids do not like Donald Trump

2.) the younger they are, the more they hate him

D.) kids really do say the darnedest things – especially when they’re talking to fairies, and especially when they’re talking to S.B. and me, and especially when their names are Platform 9 & 3/Alex and O’Charlie.

wtf children, humans are weird

In this episode, the four of us discuss:

  • fractions
  • Harry Potter
  • hashtag + pound = McDonald’s breakfast
  • Donald Trump’s intelligence
  • intelligence in general
  • what the child things would do if they were POTUS
  • bringing Obamacare back (at the request of the 9 year old)
  • fox sounds
  • bat sounds
  • legendary Pokémon who screech
  • puberty
  • where your anus is
  • leprechauns
  • dry shampoo
  • having a bad day
  • playing adult games
  • Camelot
  • explosive diarrhea
  • Xavier’s men
  • what parents say to their kids the most
  • kids saying “bad words”
  • Vines
  • knock-knock jokes
  • goat sex

…and for our segment, we play “What’s on My Butt?”

 

TSAF – ep03 – My Roommate’s a Werewolf: A Lifetime Original Movie

TSAF – ep03 – My Roommate’s a Werewolf: A Lifetime Original Movie

We finally get to meet Trevor the Werewolf in person.

werewolf fairy

As in while he’s an actual person and not in beast mode.

werewolf dog cyclops

His mother, Sylvia, also joins us, we play a game called Sleep in a Bucket, and we have now heard things that can never be unheard.

pikachu fairy

In this episode, the four of us discuss:

  • werewolves
  • suffering for fashion
  • pooping glitter
  • pooping rainbows
  • the disease you can get that makes technology fall apart
  • ingrown hairs
  • narco-magicians
  • werewolf demigorgon crossover psychics
  • demigorgy daddies
  • genealogy
  • giant, vibrating cell phones
  • Virginia Wides
  • being sticky
  • Bill Cosby
  • off pudding
  • child corn
  • cock goblins or something
  • Chuck Nasty McWolfsman
  • goat sex

…and for our segment, we play Sleep in a Bucket.

pikachu werewolf

Relevant Instagram Shenanigans:

TSAF – ep00 – Preview: Frankenshorts

TSAF – ep00 – Preview: Frankenshorts

Sup, humans?!

Welcome to our very first episode of our very first podcast. Ever.

I’m Sandy Whorehol...

…aka Sandy: the Misfit Fairy, and that’s my best friend, Slutterbell:

…aka Slutterbell: the Every Fairy. We have a lot of crazy adventures with our friend Marvin Stallone, who you’ll also encounter from time to time:

We’re totes excited you’re here – but first, please note:

This is not cosplay. We are real fairies from Fairyland who came here to figure out wtf is up with you humans. Though we still have much to learn, we’re pretty sure we can teach you a thing or twenty about yourselves along the way.

The Preview Episode of our podcast is a teensy bit different than what you’re going to hear moving forward; our first few tries weren’t perfect, so I stitched chunks of them together and added narration over cheesy background music – like a 1980s/90s TV show. You welco.

Some of the topics we discuss in “Frankenshorts” are:

  • bullying
  • Bluetooth
  • vikings
  • goats
  • what we do and do not want to do with goats
  • fish on your feet
  • a tank full of humans
  • how we got our names
  • why we study humans
  • being a dick
  • Andy Warhol (it’s ‘hole’ as in ‘holes’)
  • dating the President
  • science being real
  • phoning and flying
  • lobster murder
  • Minecraft
  • centaurs (UGH… amirite)
  • sour blood
  • the horrors of mantis sex

We also talk a lot about my roommate, Trevor the Werewolf, so here’s a picture of him, too:

Aaaand I promised you videos of the Trump being rude to and awkward around children, so…

Here he is repeatedly insulting their parents with the same voice he uses to give (backhanded) compliments:

And here he is terrifying a baby he has no idea how to hold:

And finally, in case you missed it above, the TSAF Preview Episode: Frankenshorts is right down there.

Wow. Very story. Much weird. So fairy.

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